5 SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF YOU

HIT THE ROAD JACK - Ray Charles

Remember when we first met? We dated for a little while, before things got serious, although they got serious real quick. You’d take me to all the best dancing spots in London and I’d take you home and beat you at Scrabble. That was our little number. I used to play this song back when I was still trying to impress you. I always liked Ray Charles, and I knew you liked him too. He was playing when I found you in the grimy little bar that you beat some kid up in ‘cause he looked at you all funny. You wanted to be a gangster so bad. You liked that people were a little stiff around you. I was never afraid of you, not once. That drove you mad. Remember Sicily? Yeah, you do. I’d play this song while I pulled up my stockings in that little hotel room and made sure you were watching. I listened to this song while I waited for you to get your hair cut by the Italian barber. Just like Elvis, you said, though I never told you it was more like Sinatra. We crossed that same barber later, sat on a milk crate in the sun and smoking a cigarette. He took one look at the pair of us, whistled, and said sono Bonnie e Clyde. You liked that, ‘cause you wanted to be a gangster like Clyde. I wanted to be a poet like Bonnie. We’d only known each other for about two weeks, then.

CHEEK TO CHEEK - Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong

The first year I lived in London, I rented a tiny studio flat in West Kensington with just one mini fridge and one working cooktop burner. We used to order a lot of take-out, back then. When I moved into my little flat right by leafy Hampstead, we couldn’t believe our luck. An oven! Four working burners! A whole refrigerator! A freezer! A kitchen just big enough to dance in! All those nights we spent cooking together, the most intricate and impossible of recipes just so we could spend more time by candlelight in that kitchen. We listened to a lot of music, we always did, almost exclusively jazz ‘cause it was the only thing we could agree on. We both liked what we liked, we both wanted what we wanted, and figured we shouldn’t waste time pretending. The first time I played this song, you abandoned the mussels boiling in a cream sauce and pulled me by the ribbon of my apron into your chest. We slow danced right there for a little while, the mussels in the pan sticking, the sourdough in the oven burning. We stayed like that, side to side, my head on your shoulder, cheek on cheek. You sang this song real soft in my ear and it gave me goosebumps, made my hair stand up on end. Later, when you carried me to bed, I closed my eyes and pretended I was your little wife.

SPOOKY - Dusty Springfield

We liked this song. I’d play it in summer and you’d watch me dance to it. I’d stand in that patch of floor right by the windows where the sun spilled in and casted me in gold and spin around, jerk my limbs like I was on drugs. You liked that. You liked when I performed for you. One night we went to the club and I was real happy, the chemically induced kind of happy that made me dance a lot. You were all moody, and I wanted to perform for you. I marched on over to the pianist who we’d sing with all the time and asked him to play this song. He played it, I sang it, and a whole bunch of people got on up and joined me, singing and dancing by the piano. It was a great time. I remember thinking, I will remember this moment forever. When the song finished, I looked up and over at you. You were stood by the bar, talking to someone about makin’ movies. You hadn’t even noticed that I’d danced for you. Well, after that, I made it my mission to misbehave. I got all sadistic, like I had something to prove. I do that a lot. I’m no bark and all bite, just like my Mama. Listen, baby, I’m sorry about that. Hell, I shoulda bit harder.

ALL THAT JAZZ (FROM CHICAGO) - Caroline O’Connor, Julian Kelly, National Symphony Orchestra

Remember this song? Yeah, you do. We got ourselves cocktail drunk on that open bar and then stuffed our faces with burgers and fries at that all red diner. Big red double decker bus home, we sat up the front ‘cause you knew I was liquor sick and liked to watch the neon streets as they flew past. London likes to show off like that. You passed me an earphone and let me choose all the songs. That was big, ‘cause I like what I like and you like what you like and we decided not to waste time pretending, remember? Well, this night was different. You knew I was thinking about leaving you for good. You knew it. Each song I chose you acted all excited, like I chose it just for you. That’s ‘cause I did. I chose this song for the short walk between the bus stop and my house. We tap danced the whole way home, showing off to the winking stars and urban foxes scavenging for a midnight snack. I liked that you were theatre trained, like me. We’d always sing and dance together. I liked that. It’s brave, to perform like we always did. We were never very shy. We were born for the stage, weren’t we? Two people fighting for the same spotlight. We liked to compete. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out.

LEACH - Cryogeser

You don’t know this song. This is a song for me, not you. Sometimes I get tired of sharing and, well, you wouldn’t like it anyway. The first real fight we had it was real cold, remember? Almost midnight. We were swinging on those swings by my old tiny flat when I told you I was lying. You probably forgot about it now, but I didn’t. You left me right there, in that swing at almost midnight and walked right on home. I was wine buzzed from some press event and didn’t mind all too much. I put my headphones on and kept right on swinging. This song played at just the right time, the clouds splitting right down the middle and the moon poking her pretty little silver head out from between them. I decided while this song was playing that I didn’t really care if you came back. It was probably better if you didn’t, anyway, but you did. You always came back, and I always let you, but I made you look for me. I strayed a little further each time until you couldn’t find me no more. Listen, baby, aren’t ya tired of chasing me yet? You’ve been on your feet for too long. Rest. I’ll make you breakfast some time, just the way you like it, pancakes with syrup and an orange sliced in eighths, and we’ll look back and laugh about all this. Not now, but one day. God knows, you’ll be alright without me. Better off, even. I hope those bite marks don’t scar.


Dakota Warren, 25, London - UK ✯ IG: @fairy_bl00d & TT: @sp3llb00k

“Lady Dakota (aka Nowhere Girl) is a poetess and performer who climbed out of the depths of an overly religious rural Australia and hasn’t stopped running since. She eats words for breakfast and listens exclusively to Chet Baker in autumn. ON SUN SWALLOWING (finalist for Goodreads Choice Best Poetry Book 2022) is her debut poetry collection and NOWHERE GIRL COLLECTIVE is her freshly birthed baby.”

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