YOURS, ONLY YOURS

Someone found a way to get
Caramelldansen on the dive bar jukebox
If I was twelve, I would hunt them down,
Take the most diligent notes,
Swaddle myself in the stuff mirrors
Are made of. The past tense is a girl
I know I know, but how? I greet her
Warmly despite it all. She follows suit.

Do I shrink into myself
Or do I rip through?

I guess when something
Is that far away, you get to make the gaps
Up in your mind.

They tell me I am beautiful.
They tell me they will devour me.
I wish them luck.
My amygdala constricts as they
Pull the ribbon through itself
To bisect me–brain and everything else.

You screamed for my eyes on you,
Then they scorched you.
I save letters like a fucking lawyer,
And I am delayed in averting my gaze,
Every time.

My muses are aging, and
So am I. So what other plan
Of action than to break out of my skin the way
They do in a bad movie? Squibs detonate when
I let them, I drag
It behind me; it weighs as much as company,
A perfectly satisfactory runner-up.

The moon’s at its highest,
Cicadas laughing and the night wet with
Expectancy. You're at the edge of the fairgrounds
Where the grass grows tall, a voyeur,
And you watch the horses run
Around the track
And pretend they're wild.

You don’t ride anymore, but
You sprint parallel.


Romy Rhoads Ewing, 27, Sacramento - USA ✯ IG: @romy.ewing.35mm ✯ TWT: @romyewing ✯ www.romyrhoadsewing.xyz

“Romy Rhoads Ewing is a writer and photographer from Sacramento, California. Her work has been published in Open Ceilings Magazine (UC Davis; 2022, 2023) and has appeared or is forthcoming in Anti-Heroin Chic, Major 7th Magazine, persephone’s fruit, and Genrepunk Magazine. Her debut chapbook, please stay, was published by Bottlecap Press in 2024. Her sun, Mercury, and Venus are all in Pisces. She is a complete sucker for hopeless romanticism, Y2K shoujo anime, gin and tonics, Lana del Rey, habaneros, pastries, and, of course, everyone who has continued to love, inspire, and support her. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Child Development from Sacramento State University. She is currently studying Japanese and pursuing a second degree in Anthropology.”

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