OBITUARY WRITTEN IN THE STYLE OF ANOTHER POET

Fingernails muddied from digging my own bed –
I pared them off once but things grow back.
Still here, darling, in the cemetery;
Frankenstein surveying grave-sullied souvenirs,
Stitching a version of me that might make you stay.
Empathetic, often good at my work
But everything viewed by you turns monstrous
Tell me which thread to use, Clerval,
My skin aches for your hand or the blade.
Tell me how to say your name without begging.
Still here, carving your name into my headstone with my teeth
Like I can fool myself you were mine in the end.
Hammering my empty coffin with fingernails.

I’m a scavenger, sweaty, dog-like.
My deformed heart a bird fallen from the nest.
I’m leaving my bones at your door, let me in.
Put your fingers in my eye sockets,
Let your touch inhabit my empty skull.
It’s ugly, I know, so throw a bed sheet over me.
A girl in a ghost costume, I’ll be so much easier to handle.

You make me... want to cremate myself.
Maybe you’ll kiss me if I burn like a cigarette.
Let’s talk it over, meet me here.
I’m lying in the open earth, still holding the shovel.
Want to cough up my last breath and hope it crashes into your left ventricle.
Want to burn off my fingerprints and take on your identity.
Still here, in the cemetery.
Maybe one day I’ll have enough pieces of myself for you to love me.

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Rachael Isabella Zeelie, 19, UK ✯ rachaelisabella.carrd.co

“rachael isabella zeelie, 19-year-old uk-based poet with an interest in morbid and unsettling literature. writes most often on themes of religion, queer identity and individuality. can be found living in the works of mary shelley or the closest forest. has no master plan, just a desire to write and share.”